Posted by flashpointgrafix on December 3, 2013 »
The “Industry” Insider
You were a bar back at a Ruby Tuesday’s one Summer in college. Stop telling everyone what it’s like in “the restaurant business”.
The Clandestine Farter
You think you got away with it. But your eyes and that ever-so-slight shift in your seat reveal everything.
The Painfully Awkward Blind Date
You could not be making everyone else more uncomfortable.
The Rejected Marriage Proposal
Okay, YOU could not be making everyone else more uncomfortable.
The Food Waster
There’s, like, three quarters of a rack of lamb on your plate. You seriously aren’t taking that home? Um… can I have it?
The Crowded Restaurant Lingerers
There’s a 2.5-hour wait for a table right now. How long does it take to order an espresso?! Oh God — they just ordered SECOND dessert…
The Sporting Event Checker
Would rather refresh ESPN.com incessantly to get the latest on a baseball game in May than attempt an adult conversation. But now that you’ve done it, what was that Marlins score anyway?
The Table Jockeyer
Sometimes he’s dating the temperature-sensitive girl who can’t be seated near a vent. Sometimes he’s just a dick.
The Habitual Wine Returner
The wine hasn’t even turned. He just likes looking important. Subscribes to Wine Spectator but has never read it.
Nonstop Selfie Girl
Oh I get it, she ordered duck AND she’s making a duckface. #Forkstab
The Desperate-to-Be-Noticed Minor Athlete
Did that major league lacrosse player just slip the owner a signed 8×10?
The Fake Birthday-Havers
Is it really worth compromising your integrity for a one-scoop sundae with a sad birthday candle?
Please just go to the bathroom? And take the clandestine farter with you.
Because he really is the f**king worst.